SEC School Anthem Showdown
By Streyeder on August 25 2009 3:36 PM
Everyone's looking for their two minutes of fame on the internet and college football fans are no exception. At first there were highlights, then compilations to music, and now it seems fans are going out of their way to (usually) humiliate themselves in front of millions (read: thousands). I've scoured the tubes in search of the best and worst SEC school anthems. Some you may be familiar with, and some you'll soon wish you weren't.
I've taken all I could find, rated, and ranked them from top to bottom. I rated each video on five distinct categories by asking myself these questions:
Visual - The video itself. Was is well made? Funny? Or was is just a single photo throughout?
Lyrics - How well are they put together? Is it the same thing for 4 minutes straight?
Music - Does it sound professional or like someone used a midi player in Windows 95? Does it evolve or repeat the same two bars over and over?
Embarrassment - How embarrassed should a fan of this school be due to this video?
Team Pride - Are the artists taking pride in their school and athletic department?
We'll open with the top five.
5.) "Yes I Can"
School: University of Tennessee
Video:
Visual: 7/10
Lyrics: 8/10
Music: 6/10
Embarrassment: -0/-10
Team Pride: 10/10
Total: 7.75/10
Thoughts: Showing the love to all the sports at UT, quite well done. Nonetheless, it's hard to get behind it and get excited when you're put to sleep by the end. This is more on the level of a memorial song you'd hear at UT's funeral...so schedule it to play Sept. 19th.
4.) "I'm a Hawg"
School: University of Arkansas
Video:
rap from Hog Database on Vimeo.
Visual: 10/10
Lyrics: 8/10
Music: 5/10
Embarrassment: -0/-10
Team Pride: 10/10
Total: 8.25/10
Thoughts: Nothing to be ashamed of here Arky. Damn, I actually want to watch the Hawgs play after listening to this. If only the music was a bit better then they'd really have a hell of a hit. Nonetheless, great job to the boys from the old SWC.
3.) "Fine Girls / Ole Miss"
School: University of Mississippi
Video:
Visual: 10/10
Lyrics: 10/10
Music: 8/10
Embarrassment: -3/-10
Team Pride: 8/10
Total: 8.25/10
Thoughts: Ahhh, perpetuating the classic myth that Ole Miss has the hottest women in the SEC. After this, I'm damn well convinced. Of course, it's not a difficult arrangement to make. Ole Miss & Alabama are both huge sorority strongholds (UA actually had the largest pledge class in the nation a couple years back). With that many sorostitutes on campus, you're bound to have a higher percentage of hot bodies. Keep it up UM, I look forward to visiting "The Grove" again.
2.) "Tim Tebow Song"
School: University of Florida
Video:
Visual: 9/10
Lyrics: 10/10
Music: 7/10
Embarrassment: -1/-10
Team Pride: 10/10
Total: 8.75/10
Thoughts: The product of showing too many rap videos to the youth of Florida. Thank God too because this shit is too funny. It's not enough that the song isn't that bad, but the guys dancing in the swamp is just too much.
1.) "Bama Anthem"
School: University of Alabama
Video:
Visual: 9/10
Lyrics: 10/10
Music: 10/10
Embarrassment: -0/-10
Team Pride: 10/10
Total: 9.75/10
Thoughts: Of all cheers to be turned into a rap song, this was the last one that would come to mind. The music flows well and incorporates the cheer amazingly well. The lyrics flow and the video is professionally done. This music video was just impossible to top this time around.
And finally, the rest of the videos. There's some great songs that follow, and some amazingly terrible ones.
"Coach O Song"
School: University of Mississippi
Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=txlOreGZ4oo
Visual: 6/10
Lyrics: 10/10
Music: 10/10
Embarrassment: -7/-10
Team Pride: 10/10
Total: 7.25/10
Thoughts: This is easily my all-time favorite school anthem. I think everyone who plays an Orgeron can really rally around this song!
"Gamecocks Rap"
School: University of South Carolina
Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MjoYbpB3elc
Visual: 1/10
Lyrics: 10/10
Music: 7/10
Embarrassment: -0/-10
Team Pride: 10/10
Total: 7/10
Thoughts: Ahhh...2005...when USC still had faith in Coach Spurrier. They might have had more than 1,400 views had that come to fruition. What a waste of good rap.
"Arkansas Rap (Kallin' All Hawgs)"
School: University of Arkansas
Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pXHhXSfVoYg
Visual: 0/10
Lyrics: 10/10
Music: 6/10
Embarrassment: -1/-10
Team Pride: 10/10
Total: 6.25/10
Thoughts: Anyone that can work "Wooooooo Pig Sooey!" into the harmony is on the brink of a musical breakthrough of epic proportions.
"Calipari Calipari (U. of Kentucky Theme Song)"
School: University of Kentucky
Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=al3EUPOp9hk
Visual: 6/10
Lyrics: 5/10
Music: 3/10
Embarrassment: -0/-10
Team Pride: 10/10
Total: 6/10
Thoughts: Ahh, the only team in the conference that gives a damn about their basketball team is also the only one with a song dedicated solely to their b-ball team. It still doesn't make them relevant.
"Auburn Boys"
School: Auburn University
Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cOn_OzoiVSA
Visual: 1/10
Lyrics: 9/10
Music: 4/10
Embarrassment: -0/-10
Team Pride: 9/10
Total: 5.75/10
Thoughts: The only entry for the Tigers is very respectable. If they had ANY video whatsoever they'd be in the upper echelon easily, but video editing hasn't quite made a debut at this Cow College yet.
"2006, 2007 Kentucky Football Marcus McClinton Rap"
School: University of Kentucky
Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eH48iLwWvz4
Visual: 5/10
Lyrics: 4/10
Music: 6/10
Embarrassment: -2/-10
Team Pride: 9/10
Total: 5.5/10
Thoughts: Well, at least the football players know they sucked, too bad they don't realize the trend is going to continue.
"Vanderbilt University - The Music Video"
School: Vanderbilt University
Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q50dzPkycKE
Visual: 8/10
Lyrics: 7/10
Music: 6/10
Embarrassment: -3/-10
Team Pride: 3/10
Total: 5.25/10
Thoughts: "So what can we do to end the dismay? All that our players need is a little BJ." Not even I can argue with that.
"Gator Bait"
School: University of Florida
Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eCHRTxYsmeo
Visual: 8/10
Lyrics: 3/10
Music: 3/10
Embarrassment: -3/-10
Team Pride: 10/10
Total: 5.25/10
Thoughts: Someone just introduced these guys to Windows Movie Maker and MS Paint on the same day.
"Alabama Crimson Tide Rap"
School: University of Alabama
Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mEYjBvxajF0
Visual: 1/10
Lyrics: 6/10
Music: 2/10
Embarrassment: -0/-10
Team Pride: 9/10
Total: 4.5/10
Thoughts: You can't hate a rapper that starts by proving he can count. Thanks God, because our state needs all the proof it can gather that we are somewhat educated.
"Gator Bait (Florida Gator Anthem)"
School: University of Florida
Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SlmRxJmJ_Dw
Visual: 2/10
Lyrics: 3/10
Music: 2/10
Embarrassment: -1/-10
Team Pride: 9/10
Total: 3.75/10
Thoughts: Honestly, half of the song that isn't "Gator Bait!" ad infinitum is unintelligible because these geniuses laid it on top of a shitty live recording. What are these guys? Auburn grads? Don't lay a studio recording over a live cell phone recording!
"Alabama Anthem"
School: University of Alabama
Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6QISBdp0FnM
Visual: 8/10
Lyrics: 3.5/10
Music: 2/10
Embarrassment: -3/-10
Team Pride: 4/10
Total: 3.625/10
Thoughts: These guys are google image search PROS. Tetris? Dancing Hitler? AK-47s? Yeah, we got'm. Of course, 2/3 of the entire song is a guy letting you know this is the "Alabama Anthem". Really? No shit? I GOT IT THE FIRST THIRTY TIMES!
"LSU LesMiles.Net Anthem"
School: Louisiana State University
Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P6Dwz8P29IY
Visual: 0/10
Lyrics: 4/10
Music: 5/10
Embarrassment: -2/-10
Team Pride: 7/10
Total: 3.5/10
Thoughts: LSU, what it do! Woo! This really had the potential to be an elite song for a team, except the constant "I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I'm a tiger! LSU, what it do!" and the abrupt ending.
"Florida Gator Rap: We're The Best!"
School: University of Florida
Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D8Hohq_nroA
Visual: 4/10
Lyrics: 2/10
Music: 1/10
Embarrassment: -6/-10
Team Pride: 8/10
Total: 2.25/10
Thoughts: Most white people cannot rap. Example: Everyone in this video.
"LSU TIGERS RAP"
School: Louisiana State university
Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iyTPRSoHJMo
Visual: 9/10
Lyrics: 4/10
Music: 2/10
Embarrassment: -15/-10
Team Pride: 8/10
Total: 2/10
Thoughts: If Jimmy Buffet & Thing had a bastard child in Baton Rouge, this is the song he wrote. I'm at a loss to describe the pure genius level of video editing in this piece of art.
"Know This"
School: University of Georgia
Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y3bCokifYik
Visual: 4/10
Lyrics: 1/10
Music: 1/10
Embarrassment: -10/-10
Team Pride: 9/10
Total: 1.25/10
Thoughts: Know this: You'll want the time back you spent watching this.
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Tags: SEC, Alabama, Arkansas, Auburn, Florida, Georgia, Kentucky, LSU, Mississippi State, Ole Miss, South Carolina, Tennessee, Vanderbilt, SEC,SEC,
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